We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
