I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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