oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
