i don't like sucking hair
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
where are my pants?
in the oven.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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