no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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