why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My ass is underappreciated
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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