I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
