my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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