I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
