Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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