all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
