it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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