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Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
