Pappa wants mamma naked
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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