we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
