I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
her facebook's as public as her vagina
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
