so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I love you. Go after that dick
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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