took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
