If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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