you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
high people should be assigned attendants
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Let's get the cat blown out
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
