if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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