i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You dont lie about slip and slides
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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