the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
