Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
