Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
