yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You ruined the universe
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
