In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
