Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
