I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
