so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
