I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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