with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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