Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
