Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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