I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
