just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
