Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
