Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
