I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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