I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
