I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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