Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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