Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
