ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
