I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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