You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
