OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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