It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
