he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
