i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
