I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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