he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
