Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
