you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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