She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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