I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
