my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
