Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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